Friday, January 13, 2017

Being Kind to Ourselves

I use this phrase a lot when I work with people who want to make long-term, sustainable changes in their life, the kind of changes that will dramatically alter their health and their future.

They often interpret this to mean they don’t have to live up to their health commitments, that they can go off-track and sabotage their food & exercise prescription simply because they “ didn't feel like it” or were “having a bad day”.

This is entirely opposite of what I mean.

Being kind to yourself, really taking good care of yourself, starts with a decision that is not negotiable and a willingness to be realistic about what is good for you.

Imagine: you've had a really stressful day at work, your boss is cranky at you, co-workers are being more difficult than usual and you have a splitting headache on the way home from work. 

Dinner consisting entirely of chocolate and cheese, possibly wine, and staying up late to zone out in front of the television may seem like an easy option. “ I've had an awful day,” you tell yourself, “I deserve some pleasure, I can’t be bothered doing anything else.”

So you eat some non-nutritional food and flake out on the couch. Your headache feels worse, you feel sluggish and tired but instead of going to bed, you stay up too late watching television, exacerbating your tiredness.

Imagine that this is your child, or your best friend.

Would you deliberately ignore their needs, or make excuses for why you wouldn't help them feel as good as possible, especially under difficult circumstances?

I bet you wouldn't.

Imagine: you've had a really stressful day at work, your boss is cranky at you, co-workers are being more difficult than usual and you have a splitting headache on the way home from work.

“ I've had an awful day,” you tell yourself, “so I’m going to make sure I drink plenty of water when I get home. I’ll make myself a quick vegetable omelette and I’ll make sure I get an early night.”

The first scenario may seem like the easiest option, and by certain criteria it may be, but since when has easy meant better. 

The second option means you actually change your situation for the better. 

You contribute to your health rather than detracting from it. 

You actually meet your real needs, rather than giving in to what it is you think you want.

Making your life a little easier the next day and helping yourself to feel better - THAT is being kind.